Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Demons....Play Ball!

(click on photo for larger photo)


This week for my design team layout for All About Me Challenge Blog, I went a little dark...

As always, the rest of the DT had very different takes....some lighthearted and funny and some seriously with it as you wish!

And for this prompt you can WIN A PRIZE!  Up for grabs is a bunch of Core'dinations Cardstock provided by Melissa!  How sweet!

SO, if you need some extra motivations.....THERE YOU GO!

This was a little of a struggle for me.  Demons.  I'm a very optimistic and positive person, but I do have my demons.  I thought it would be interesting to delve into that side of me that I don't usually think about.
A version of me that used to be.

The title of my layout is "i love the way you lie" which I took from a song by Eminem featuring Rihanna.  It was difficult for me to really journal my mood.  This song really seemed to have that dark feel to it, so I journaled the lyrics and as a whole, it seems to reflect a "me" about 10 years ago.

She wasn't always nice, honest, caring, and kind.
In fact, she was mean, selfish, hurtful, violent, jealous and vengeful.
But, it was a part of me I had to get through and learn from.
I don't think I'd want to be that way again, but it was an important step to becoming the person I've grown into today, so I guess if I was given an option to change that part of my life...I don't think I would have.

Here are the lyrics I used as journaling:
"Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie...."

Here's the song if ya wanna listen...but be aware that there is some profanity in the lyrics:

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

I really love this layout though!  It's so raw and real!  I don't know how this all came about...but it did in one sitting.  I love how I used vellum strips to journal on and then used it as a cage.
I think I've created some of my best work using dark prompts.
I love the mirrored teardrop, the stamping, the glitter around my eye, the hue of the photo and the sewing I did on the layout.  I also did some fun embossing using a woodgrain stamped pattern.

Now I have to say, I've never had a violent relationship like the one depicted in this song.  It's just a reflection of what I felt inside.  I swear, sometimes I did things because I honestly didn't care about myself at times.  And I did things to others because they hurt me and I wanted to hurt them back.
I didn't respect myself and I think I even dated men who I knew I wouldn't respect, just so I new I could walk away whenever I wanted.  And several times I walked away without a word, phone call, explanation.  I just didn't really care about anyone...not even myself.

And knowing what I know now, I was just dealing with demons then that even reached as far back as my young childhood.  Finally, after being hurt so many times by those I cared for, I think I snapped.

I don't know why I did the things I did, but I'm glad I eventually made peace with myself enough to begin to enjoy my life again.  And that's the Mo you all probably know.

Let's now move on to some fun!

High School was a pretty fun time in my life, though.
That's where the Pink Ninja Prompt layout comes in...

Bust out all those sports pictures you know you all have been waiting to scrap!
I know, I we go again with that Pink Ninja Addicts Accidentally Kelly Kit....I KNOW!
More of my beautiful papers put to good use.

I was on the tennis team!  I loved it!  I had some of my best memories on the tennis team playing with some of my best friends!

I did some fun hand stitching here and then attached the pieces to my layout.  I loved that "report card"!  I tucked it into a pocket I created.  The back is meant for some journaling (which I didn't do yet).

It was fun and therapeutic doing all the reminiscing I did working on these two pages.
Now it's YOUR turn to play!

Hope your week has been going well!