Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Sweet Girl

Happy Saturday everyone!!! I forgot to share this one...I've realized that there are more layouts out there I have yet to photograph!!!

This was one of my last layouts for my Guest DT term at Scrap Freak. This layout was part of

a challenge inspired by an ad. If you want to check it out, CLICK HERE and maybe you'll be inspired!

The ad is from "girleffect.org" and there is a quote that says "change starts with a girl". This creation is an interpretation of that ad...and boy did my girl change my life in many ways.


Journaling reads:

My life would have been different if you left me that day. I may live each day with guilt and fear...but at least I never take for granted every single day I have with you.


Love, Mommy

So, I've been trying to scrap not only the happy things...but the not so happy. This is a reminder of a life lesson which has impacted my life in many ways....a little negatively...but definitely mostly positively...I'll explain.

For those of you that may not yet know...the story is, my daughter had an accident at the age of 2. She survived a 15 foot fall from our second story window and landed on the concrete driveway. It was something I never thought could happen. The doctors said it happens more often than people think.

We have low windows, and the bottom of the window came up to about Isabel's neck at the time. This I explained to the doctors who said that she must have peered over the window and toppled right over or somehow climbed up onto the window sill.

Isabel was out of my sight for only a few minutes. We have a loft upstairs and that's where her toys are. When I walked upstairs to check on her, I was hit with an awful feeling. You know, that horrible feeling that something is VERY WRONG. It was quiet...much too quiet when you have a chatty two-year-old. I reached the top of the stairs and saw the door to my brother-in-law's bedroom was open. (The previous day was extremely hot.) Then, I remembered the window was open when I came home from work earlier. I drew closer to the bedroom and to my horror, the screen was gone. I realized that one of my biggest nightmares had come true. I started screaming uncontrollably and didn't stop until I had Isabel in my arms.
I screamed so loud that the construction workers 2 blocks away heard me and called 911. The ambulance took her there (they thought it wasn't a good idea for me to be in the ambulance, so hmmmm....it was a good idea for me to DRIVE THERE...oh well, they meant well). My neighbor was so kind to drive my husband and I to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. My daughter's care was exceptional and the man running the CT scanner saw my grief and looked into my eyes and told me not to beat myself up too much over what happened....I really needed to hear that.
Many doctors saw her to make sure all areas were "all clear"...a pediatrician, and ear nose and throat specialist, an opthalmologist...maybe some others. But there were at least two of those doctors who took the time to remind me that it was an accident...they meant well, but that wouldn't stop the guilt.
Miraculously, other than a badly bruised right eye, a couple scars, and an orbital fracture which healed on its own...there was nothing else wrong.

Isabel is nearly 7 now, and the vivid flashbacks which used to make me cry and cringe are much less frequent. I still feel panicky when my children stand or sit next to a window...either closed or open. I developed a fear of flying and my fear of heights got more pronounced to the point that I can't even watch someone on tv who is in a building looking down without feeling sick to my stomach and on the verge of a pannick attack.

Isabel doesn't remember what happened, thankfully. I feel guilty every day...and comments from certain unnamed family members (let's just say, not any of my blood relatives) have cemented that guilt. Hmmmm....I suppose feeling guilty every day for the rest of my life was not punishment enough...I needed a shaking head and look that said "bad Mo" to remember as well. Thanks for the visual...yes...THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.


So the point of this awful story? Sooo sorry to tell it, but you had to understand what happened to make sense of the journaling. And also I wanted to say, that I have been guilty of the head shaking (prior to Isabel's accident) when I heard on the news that a kid fell out of a window. I wondered why that child's parent's didn't prevent it....now I know...and now I understand that I shouldn't judge because I don't know what really happened. And I try not to judge when I hear an awful story on the news and remember that accident's happen to children of the most watchful parents. Leave the judgement to God, right? I'm sure the parent will punish themeselves enough.


But I've got some uplifting news to share!!!! Diego (my doggy nephew) pulled through!!! He's still weak (it's been a week since he was discharged from the hospital) but he's better. He's on some medication for his stomach and some antibiotics. It seems that he might have gotten into something that did not agree at all with his stomach (to put it mildly). He's a little bitty Chihuaua, so it didn't take much for him to become dehydrated to the point of near death when my father found him. He's a picky eater too...so that didn't help him at all...he just got more and more dehydrated. My poor poor baby Diego!!! Boy, if I thought that little guy was spoiled before....wow, he's really spoiled now! He get's shuttled to his "great-grandparent's" house and picked up after his grandma or mommy get's home from work. I offered to babysit, but he REALLY doesn't like hanging out with Gabe, my toddler!!!! Yay! Yay! I'm so relieved he's home!
Thank you for all the prayers and blessings and support! You guys are awesome and I so love reading your comments. Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment...and making my day!


Okay, another more peaceful share.....I came across a cool song on YouTube with a nice message. It's called "My Constant" and its written and sung by a great artist, Bridget Hermano (from Seattle). Go Seattle! Go Philippines!! He he!!!
What's the song about? Bridget leaves this quote:
Hebrews 13:8
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
If you'd like the lyrics, CLICK HERE. It's in the video description.



Have a wonderful weekend my friends!!!!

Hugs,
Mo

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